He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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