if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
In America we eat man semen.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
