Me too!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
