talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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