oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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