I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
