I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
