She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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