he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
