when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
