batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
