Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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