let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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