So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Banned from zoo.
Again?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
