i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
