She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
