she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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