Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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