something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
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There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
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He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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