somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
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Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
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You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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