My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
