so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
