found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
