so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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