Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
