he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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