What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
