playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just cropdusted the office
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
