I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
