Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize