Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
