I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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