maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
