Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
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Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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