How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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