Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
