It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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