this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
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Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
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Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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