they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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