My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
