the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize