Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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