They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
