Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
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What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
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Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.