Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.

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  (610): Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry. http://tfl.nu/7qgs
  Replies (38) Good night (5387) Bad night (794)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater

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  (905): I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater http://tfl.nu/5s3p
  Replies (19) Good night (974) Bad night (3323)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.

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  (732): When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest. http://tfl.nu/kqsj
  Replies (29) Good night (673) Bad night (5221)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.

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  (480): the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy. http://tfl.nu/p73q
  Replies (17) Good night (5602) Bad night (726)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.

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  (603): did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless. http://tfl.nu/v4st
  Replies (9) Good night (6066) Bad night (1327)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?

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  (602): I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon? http://tfl.nu/25nz
  Replies (11) Good night (2458) Bad night (968)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary

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  (845): I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary http://tfl.nu/j2zc
  Replies (9) Good night (2387) Bad night (953)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?

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  (214): You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right? http://tfl.nu/pmdc
  Replies (7) Good night (1167) Bad night (2591)
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  (315): View more from New York

  The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.

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  (315): The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/v27u
  Replies (3) Good night (2855) Bad night (879)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Employee of the year! :)

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  (503): She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning? (503): Employee of the year! :) http://tfl.nu/boh1
  Replies (5) Good night (1993) Bad night (653)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.

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  (816): Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car. http://tfl.nu/sqkm
  Replies (2) Good night (907) Bad night (513)
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  (714): View more from California

  But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?

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  (714): But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax? http://tfl.nu/2c3b
  Replies (12) Good night (873) Bad night (422)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.

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  (352): a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window. http://tfl.nu/ast5
  Replies (10) Good night (1389) Bad night (363)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.

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  (585): He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota. http://tfl.nu/2rl1
  Replies (4) Good night (907) Bad night (415)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet

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  (812): im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet http://tfl.nu/ncyi
  Replies (3) Good night (468) Bad night (367)

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