You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
