Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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