Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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