I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
zippers are such a cool invention
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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