you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
