fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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