now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
