i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
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She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
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I deserve to be covered in dicks
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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