She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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