is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
