Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
