took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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