HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
