I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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