I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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