So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
This show inspires me to have sex in space
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
