I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I touched a dick in church today
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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