no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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