nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
