I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
