did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
